Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

by Deanna Wadsworth

You know what kinda sweater I am talking about, don’t you? Do you maybe have one lurking in your drawer for those especially festive moments? Does it look like that god-awful patchwork sweater your kindergarten teacher wore? The one she so "fashionably" paired with her long denim skirt? The sweater with a stroll of ACTUAL WORKING LED LIGHTS on it?

I cannot pretend that I am a fashionista, but I like to apply to fashion the same rules you can apply to most things. KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid.

Now, please do not despair, Deanna is here to help you if you own one of these vomitous wads of yarn. It’s not too late to get help! If you are one of the fortunate ones who had enough sense to dump off the blinking reindeer sweater Aunt Edna made you to the Goodwill, you can help our sisters and brothers that have fallen into the Badlands of Fashion. And no, though it may be gratifying, you cannot slap these fashion offenders upside the head. You will get in trouble, trust me.

But I do have the perfect location for you to make these ugly sweaters acceptable, if not downright desirable! Don’t believe me? Then you need to attend an:


What is a UCSP, you may ask?

An UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY is pretty simple to throw together, actually. And you will seriously impress your friends with your cleverness. You don't even have to tell them you heard it from me...I won't mind!

First you tell your funnest friends to find the ugliest, gaudiest and most absurd Christmas sweater so they can wear it to your UCSP party.

You with me so far?

While this will provide a lot of fun conversation starters, I have an additional suggestion to add a little flair to your party:

Each guest needs to bring a fifth of their favorite liquor.

Then, at the party, you do a White Elephant with all the booze.

And before the night is over you MUST DRINK THE WHOLE BOTTLE!!!

You can pick something hard and high proof but beware: you might get screwed and have to drink it yourself!! (((evil scientist laugh)))

For more ideas on how to make your UCSP über cool check out:

So, instead of cringing every time you see one of these tacky garments, go up to that carol-singing weirdo in the ugly sweater and ask them where they bought their offensive clothing. You might just win the coveted UGLIEST SWEATER AWARD at your next UCPS! Plus you will also be helping keep all those little Taiwanese children who knit these horrendous things fed!

In honor of these yuletide fashion faux-pas, I am hosting an UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY on Facebook.

What I need from you is to “tag” me in pics of the worst sweater you can find. Every TAG will be entered in a random drawing to win a copy of one of MY BOOKS, your choice. So make sure you tag yourself in the pic so I know who you are!

All entries must be in by Christmas Adam. Don’t know what Christmas Adam is? Well it’s the 23rd of December. After all the 24th is Christmas Eve, don’t ya know.

If you would like to post a comment here, I will send you a wonderfully nice gift. A wonderful PartyLite mini barrel jar candle in the yummy scent Leaves of Fun and a digital copy of SECRET SANTA.

Thanks and please remember to drink responsibly!

SECRET SANTA - One Naughty Read for One Nice Cause!

My latest short story SECRET SANTA is being featured by my publisher as their December Read for a Cure book.

Read For a Cure is a Decadent Publishing program benefiting the American Cancer Society Relay For Life

Each month, Decadent Publishing donates ALL PUBLISHER PROFITS from one book per month to Relay For Life in their efforts to help fight back against cancer.

Personally I will be donating 50cents per purchase of SECRET SANTA to this same great cause.

Won't you please help my reach my goal to raise $500 this Holiday season?


Deanna's Blog


  1. I want the one at the top of the blog! ;-)

    Great topic, Deanna

  2. This sounds like a really fun party. Who doesn't have an ugly sweater hanging around in your closet.

    seriousreader at live dot com

  3. that sounds like an awesome ly fun party anddd ur books sounds awesoem!

  4. This sounds like a blast... Off to find those USCP pics. Good Luck on your fund raising!!!


  5. I sent a friend request on FB Brandy U...-B... thanks.


  6. Why on earth do we buy those silly sweaters? I think my blue zip up with the snowflakes is in the basement.

  7. And here I got rid of all that stuff a couple of years ago when I ran out of room in the closet (well, house actually, but that's what 2 'pack rats' living in a small house with no storage have to deal with). I don't even have a pic of me in one (made sure of that! Now almost wishing I did...maybe not. I would never live it down).

    Your party idea is great, though! Love the warning about being careful what you bring to drink, you might get stuck drinking it! Reminds me of a white elephant party I went to where someone got stuck with a tp roll and was mad enough to leave it sitting around until the $20 inside it was found! We all make ourselves into clowns around the holidays, don't we?

    Happy Holidays and thanks for the smiles

  8. Oh, Deanna, what a delightfully funny post. 'Vomitous wads of yarn' perfect.
    However, as a knitter, I must mention that these sweaters are not only found in yarn but also in fleece. I should know, I owned (emphasis on the ed) one. Thankfully, I have a photo. Unfortunately, it was taken before the days of jpgs. What to do?
    Good luck with your party. I'll attend if I can.

  9. I really enjoyed your post. The party sounds wild and crazy!! I also wonder who would pick out one of those sweaters for themselves? Maybe there are alot of these parties out there!!


  10. Too funny! Sounds like a great party - I'll be there ;-)

    smaccall @

  11. We've done this party once before and it's fun seeing what people wear. My theory is, when it's cold, as long as the sweater is warm it can be as ugly as it wants.

    joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

  12. Sounds like a great party! I will have to find one of those sweaters.

    kissinoak at frontier dot com

  13. I think the closest I have is a Winnie the Pooh winter scene sweatshirt...and it's Pooh, it can't be ugly :P Sounds like fun though, Deanna. Can I just bring the booze and play without a sweater?

  14. This made me giggle! I personally don't own one of these monstrosities, however, I have seen them in living color on some of my relatives in recent years. Before that, as you mentioned in your post, they were mainly worn by my elementary school teachers. I vote that we have Ugly Sweater Day! It should be a national holiday. I work for Hallmark, maybe I'll write them and suggest it for December 23rd! XOXO

  15. What a great idea! I have a few rather appropriate sweaters for the occasion.
    debby236 at att dot net

  16. Hey all Thanks for stopping by! My "real" job is a hairdresser/nail tech and this time of year I am busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest so I just got home from work and wasnt here to chat with you all! :(
    @ Maureen just google "ugly Christmas sweaters" and you will find several sites with that sweater on it, I want a pic of you in it! LOl
    @ Linda and SiNn...they are FUN!
    @ Brandy! Got ya on FB
    @ Kathleen...I have no idea why we buy or keep them

  17. @ Vickey- that's funny. Reminds me when I went off on my hubby for blowing our 10th anniversary by buying me a popcorn maker and a hand mixer. He really bought me this huge bedding set I wanted and refused to order because it was too expensive. It was just backordered and he had cut out all the pics from the catalog and taped them in the anniversary card he told me I wasn't allowed to open until the next day....oops!

  18. @Leanne, knitting is a HUGE talent! I can crochet but not knitting. Wish I could

  19. I'm gonna bookmark the site and ask the hubby to consider it for the holidays... Just don't want to open it with Mom sitting nearby!

  20. OMG! That is hilarious! I'm soooo doing a party next year! Although, I've been lucky enough to never have received a ugly sweater! May have to find one by next year! LOL Thanks for the giggles! Happy Holidays!

  21. Funny. This brought up memories of when my son and his friends were juniors in HS. They all decided to hit Goodwill for the "perfect" Christmas sweater. They actually wore them to school. There were about a dozen teenage boys walking the halls in snowflakes and sparkles.

  22. @ Judy, Estella, Sarah and can be fun! Don't forget to send me pics of bad sweaters!
    @ have been to an UCSP???? Whoot!

  23. Seleste: Everything is forgiven if it is POOH
    @ KYale...It cant be the 23rd cus that is CHRISTMAS ADAM...but maybe toe 22nd?

  24. Maureen, if he buys it for you, let me know!!!

  25. @ Kristin, good luck with your party!
    @ Becca it's people like your son who probably initiated this kinda party

  26. Oh man! I don't have any horrid Christmas sweaters! I feel like I've been gypped somehow, and I don't have enough exclamation points in this post!!!!

  27. Ha. This was funny. I think I've been to one of these parties...
    Actually, you'll get a kick out of this. My MIL is a serious knitter, and I just found her a book titled, "Knitting with Balls". The entire book is 'fashionable' designs that men will wear. Some of them look a little swishy, but it'll make her laugh.
    Great post!

  28. know, I do not think (and I could very well eat my words) that the sweater in the pic up top could be, well, topped.

    Especially after a white elephant (which wouldn't be a bad idea if that sweater had to be looked at).......

    Though the UCSP could become the next best thing after this post.

  29. shoot and I gave all my away to my mom who thought they were adorable . I even had one with lights on it ( course I was always to scaried to wear it I didn't want my obit to say died from eletrocuion after to much eggnog lol

  30. ROFL! Thankfully I have avoided the ugly sweater statement this year--fantastic way to celebrate and embrace the entertainment of it though! Great idea, Deanna!

    f dot chen at comcast dot net

  31. My friends and I have talked about having an Ugly Sweater Party, but we've never committed to it. I think my mom may have one of my ugly sweaters from Jr. High in a closet somewhere. I don't have any Christmas ones though, but I do remember having to wear one that a family member got me so I wouldn't hurt their feelings.


  32. u know i really dont own any sweater to even try to enter the contest. im in texas and it dosnt get that cold like ny where i am from. right now its like 65 here and sunny lol. so hopefully i find a sweater and see if its really ugly to take a pic of lol. i just hope it isnt to bad on me lol

  33. You guys are hilarious! I'm glad you all stopped by!

  34. Jennifer Mathis with the light up sweater you won my drawing! I'll be in touch to get your contact info!