by Deanna Wadsworth
You know what kinda sweater I am talking about, don’t you? Do you maybe have one lurking in your drawer for those especially festive moments? Does it look like that god-awful patchwork sweater your kindergarten teacher wore? The one she so "fashionably" paired with her long denim skirt? The sweater with a stroll of ACTUAL WORKING LED LIGHTS on it?
I cannot pretend that I am a fashionista, but I like to apply to fashion the same rules you can apply to most things. KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid.
Now, please do not despair, Deanna is here to help you if you own one of these vomitous wads of yarn. It’s not too late to get help! If you are one of the fortunate ones who had enough sense to dump off the blinking reindeer sweater Aunt Edna made you to the Goodwill, you can help our sisters and brothers that have fallen into the Badlands of Fashion. And no, though it may be gratifying, you cannot slap these fashion offenders upside the head. You will get in trouble, trust me.
But I do have the perfect location for you to make these ugly sweaters acceptable, if not downright desirable! Don’t believe me? Then you need to attend an:
UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY
What is a UCSP, you may ask?
An UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY is pretty simple to throw together, actually. And you will seriously impress your friends with your cleverness. You don't even have to tell them you heard it from me...I won't mind!
First you tell your funnest friends to find the ugliest, gaudiest and most absurd Christmas sweater so they can wear it to your UCSP party.
You with me so far?
While this will provide a lot of fun conversation starters, I have an additional suggestion to add a little flair to your party:
Each guest needs to bring a fifth of their favorite liquor.
Then, at the party, you do a White Elephant with all the booze.
And before the night is over you MUST DRINK THE WHOLE BOTTLE!!!
You can pick something hard and high proof but beware: you might get screwed and have to drink it yourself!! (((evil scientist laugh)))
For more ideas on how to make your UCSP über cool check out:
So, instead of cringing every time you see one of these tacky garments, go up to that carol-singing weirdo in the ugly sweater and ask them where they bought their offensive clothing. You might just win the coveted UGLIEST SWEATER AWARD at your next UCPS! Plus you will also be helping keep all those little Taiwanese children who knit these horrendous things fed!
In honor of these yuletide fashion faux-pas, I am hosting an UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY on Facebook.
What I need from you is to “tag” me in pics of the worst sweater you can find. Every TAG will be entered in a random drawing to win a copy of one of MY BOOKS, your choice. So make sure you tag yourself in the pic so I know who you are!
All entries must be in by Christmas Adam. Don’t know what Christmas Adam is? Well it’s the 23rd of December. After all the 24th is Christmas Eve, don’t ya know.
If you would like to post a comment here, I will send you a wonderfully nice gift. A wonderful PartyLite mini barrel jar candle in the yummy scent Leaves of Fun and a digital copy of SECRET SANTA.
Thanks and please remember to drink responsibly!
SECRET SANTA - One Naughty Read for One Nice Cause!
Read For a Cure is a Decadent Publishing program benefiting the American Cancer Society Relay For Life
Each month, Decadent Publishing donates ALL PUBLISHER PROFITS from one book per month to Relay For Life in their efforts to help fight back against cancer.
Personally I will be donating 50cents per purchase of SECRET SANTA to this same great cause.